left brain

Gemini, like me ;)

From M@:  I agree with thise sex wise however it is mostly sex-boy-gay based which is good and mostly right (especially with the detailed sex things).  haha.. yes, I am a gemini!

Ever wanted to fuck Peter Pan? Now's your chance! *(and yes, Peter Pan was gay. For god's sake, his best friend was a faerie and he spent all his time with the "boys".) Gemini has a youthful vigor about them and if you're looking for a break from the humdrum and predictable (and sometimes stable) then Gemini is for you. The sign for Gemini is the twins. With Gemini you could be getting two partners for the price of one -all in one trim, youthful package!

They are the fist air sign and embody raw, unfiltered knowledge. They can hold their own in a party and crack a joke faster than you can say "egregious coquetry".

There seem to be two kinds of Gemini: 

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Gemini 1: { TACTIC #1 } "Mental Lubrication"

Regardless, every Gemini's biggest sexual organ is their brain. If you can engage one in a battle of puns and sexual entendres, WHILE NOT BEING VULGAR, then you've gotten them interested and ready to go. Scan for bulges. Geminis will make sexual innuendos and jokes and will be impressed if you can catch them at it and match their game. To them this means you can match them in bed.

You will know the game is afoot when you see a sparkle in their eye and a smile they are trying to surpress. The longer you can draw out the mental foreplay, the hotter they will be. If they don't touch you first, make your move when the time comes -like a hearty laugh, or a shift in the group's dynamics (because I guarantee you, they'll be with a group).

Their imaginations are your biggest asset.  A certain someone (whom I will allow to identify HIMSELF) was not flirting with said Gemini, but nevertheless fell into Tactic #1 by accident.

[Gemini] "Why is he so interested in you?"
[Mr. X] "Because he's a size queen."
[Gemini] "..oh..  ..OOOHH!!!...  I have never been more attracted to you!"

If you want a Gemini, use their imaginations to your benefit. 

Even if you're not their type, you still have a chance. Every Gemini has a huge propensity for curiosity and many will admit to fucking at least one person just out of curiosity. This sub-tactic will depend on the situation, what you know about them and what you can bring to the table. DO NOT BLUFF: Even if you're bluffing, once they're at your place, chances are they'll follow through because now it's a question of simple mechanics. But this, however, means that you will not get a second date and will most likely be the subject of scandalous and unflattering gossip.

Gemini 1:  { TACTIC #2 } "'Carpe Diem'; sieze their day while it's hard"

A Gemini can get into the mood in a heartbeat... but can move on just as quickly. If your Gemini is ready, GO FOR IT NOW! IMMEDIATELY! Know all the secluded spots in your area because you may not have enough time to get home before they get distracted or their mind moves on. Remember; it's their brain that you have to keep erect. Know the sheds, dark parking lots, alleyways, large shrubs and private bathrooms in your area. Your Gemini will find this fun and exciting to boot.  

This also works when YOU'RE horny. Call them up. They're always up for a quicky and unlike earth signs, find absolute spontenaety to be an aphrodisiac!

Gemini 1 or 2: { TACTIC #3 } "IMUrF/B-2nite"

Gemini is all about communication and use their IM and celphones extensively. Flirt online (see Tactic #1). OR engage them in a text-msg conversation charged with entendres. It doesn't matter when -in fact sometimes the more inappropriate the better; at the opera or a meeting... when they're at dinner with coworkers... Just make sure they aren't driving because they will crash or run someone over and then the cops will question you for 3 hours.

Bottom Line: Gemini's are addicted to their communication devices and have a weakness for surprise tactics and sexual puns. Use all of them at once!

Gemini 2: { TACTIC #4 } "Declaration of Debriefing"

The key here is to get your Gemini's attention. The problem with Gemini 2's is that they are too distracted to pay enough attention to your lure, or are over analyzing everything to the point where they have several conflicting hypotheses for every statement you make. Here, you have to be clear.

[G2] "so what are you doing afterwards?"
[U] "...you."

Once you have their attention, proceed with any of the afore-mentioned tactics.

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If you're looking for a fling with someone who won't have the time or earnestness to feel guilty about it, try Gemini. Gemini's hate rules so toss yours out. They bore Gemini. Don't say "I don't have sex on the first date" or "I only fuck on the bed" or "I'm only a top". Play it by ear... or cock, in this case.

Sex for a Gemini is just plain fun. They are playing.. WEEEE!!!! Therefore, you have to be fun to play with. To even interest a Gemini in the first place, be lively, fun, charismatic and unpredictable. Never appear boring or stodgy. During sex, every Gemini loves variety so keep it changing. Keep the sex interesting and variable. The easiest way this can be done is with venue changes. If the bathroom / parking lot / car is out of the question, try everywhere in the apartment but the bed. Be spontaneous. Change positions often. They'll tell you what they want and you should be willing to do the same. I've noticed that Gemini's aren't good at reading what you want without you telling them.... and they appreciate the input.

Gemini needs visual stimulation. Use subdued lighting, and situate a mirror so they can watch the sex they are partaking in. Also, remember that they get distracted easily -especially Gemini 2's... Turn off the ringer, TV, maybe stereo, close the drapes -delete all outside stimulation to minimize distraction.

Most Gemini's I've slept with bookend the sex with conversation. They are NOT ones to roll over and go to sleep. Some Gemini's are the kind to fuck and run, and often don't mind if you do the same. They make wonderful Fuck-Buddies becuase of the inherant spontenaity, lack of restrictions, and absense of expectations invloved. All this makes for fun, fun, fun as far as a Gemini is concerned.

Also, most Gemini's I've met have less of a tolerance for body fat than others... so be trim! You don't have to be a total gym bunny, just have a low body-fat count. They run off of nervous energy, and therefore are most often quite trim themselves.

AbFab, Season 5

In watching AbFab lately, I died laughing over some of the things said.  Not to mention that Edwina's new office has the legs of the US torn down Saddam Hussein statue as a sculpture.  haha.  However, one of the funniest is the special episode when Edwina and Patsy get married.

Could Julia Roberts lips get any larger? 
It looks like she is giving birth to her own head.

Edwina: OMG.. I am going to have a mix-raced baby.  It is the Chanel of babies! The best of the season. 

Five star luxury pampering on a global scale.  Spas are the new holiday for the urban stressoid.  Plum has put health spas, and chaballah in every third world nation.  Hot stone massages, salt scrub body wraps... in Kabul... to the exotic sound of small arms fire.  Families of refugees herded over Western bodies to stamp out the cellulite. 

Papal Muse

My thoughts about the new Nazi youth Pope are as follows.  I think the conclave couldn't make a choice with who to choose especially with the whole Third-World Cardinal Pope-elect idea so they instead chose the easy way out.  They chose one of the oldest guys figuring heck, he is probably going to die in 26years, lets just go with him for now.  morons

The following paragraph is from Towleroad (who I know a friend of weirdly enough)since I think it sums up this whole historical day perfectly:  No refreshing change from the Vatican. That puff of white chimney smoke was made of the same stale air the Catholic church has been spewing for the last three decades. As Sinead would say, "Fight the real enemy." Ratzinger authored many of the anti-gay statements released by the Vatican under John Paul II.

**Supports proactive stand to halt governments from legalizing same sex marriage.

**Wants laws that allow gays to adopt children repealed.

**Opposes contraception and condoms to combat AIDS/HIV.

**Wants women to have a limited role in the church.

 "The Vatican has launched a global campaign against gay marriage in an attempt to reverse the spread of legislation in Europe and the Americas that permits it. In a strongly-worded 12-page document signed by the Pope's chief theological adviser, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the Church brands homosexual unions as immoral, unnatural and harmful."

And from the Times: 

Unknown to many members of the church, however, Ratzinger’s past includes brief membership of the Hitler Youth movement and wartime service with a German army anti- aircraft unit.  Although there is no suggestion that he was involved in any atrocities, his service may be contrasted by opponents with the attitude of John Paul II, who took part in anti-Nazi theatre performances in his native Poland and in 1986 became the first pope to visit Rome’s synagogue.

And look at these startling pictures ;)

Cherry Blossoms in Manhattan

After driving to NYC on Friday, it took my friend and I less than 10 minutes to park the car on the UWSide.  We prayed to all gods, haha,  (Allah, Jesus, Buddha) and it worked.  So we dropped off our stuff at the apartment and headed down through Central park and the full bloom Cherry Blossoms to a few of the art galleries still left in the 50's.  I got to see the new Thomas Struth photographs which were fabulously fantastic.  Then to the Union Square area to do a little walking around on a street that is totally adorable called the Washington News before dinner at Cru, a restaurant that opened a few months ago that basically try to kill us with the amount of food they served.  From amuse's to the inbetween dessert idea.  Not to mention we had two real martini's and a half bottle of wine each.  So when we went to see Look at Me we both fell asleep right after the opening title sequence.  And not just fell asleep but slept until the very end of the movie having no idea what happened and whether or not the movie was actually good and that we should try to see it again.  Oh well, it was about a battle between a parent and a child, which I am well aware of. 

Saturday was fantastic.  I got to see the Basquiat show in the Brooklyn Museum of Art in the morning.  It was spectacular for an art show.  His works and the amount of them were amazing in person.  However, the idea that he peaked at 23 makes me feel, well... lost but oh well.  Most of the paintings came from a private collection which I only mention because I wish I had one in my collection and not just because they are now millions of dollars either.  I actually got to see this work (to the right here) in person.  How cool!  We had a little lunch in Chelsea before strolling through the art galleries mainly for the Damien Hirst exhibit and the Frank Stella massively ridiculous sculptures.  However, we had a lil celebrity sighting along the way.  I got to see John Waters with some little boy toy.  Come to find out he supposedly haunts Ptown too.  Funny how small the world is.  After cruising Chelsea we headed to a movie in the East Village called Head On.  A brilliant Turkish/German film about how disfunctional relationships are even when they work perfectly.  (I am getting this idea).  It won a bunch of awards including the Golden Bear in Europe.  Dinner at some funky Indian restaurant that reminded me of a Bend it Like Beckham movie set followed.  Mm.. Mango Martini's/

Sunday was a fantastically beautiful day to be in NYC.  Central Park was packed.  Boys were in t-shirts and shorts.  Flip flops and shaved heads.  (btw, I am about to shave mine except one of my best friends went ahead and did his, fucker) I read the Times in the Park and then went down to Soho to do some shopping.  I bought a hot new pair of Diesels, some Italian colored Gola sneakers, and a $5 pair of "LA" sunglasses.  Woo!  It all ended beautifully with a fantastic dinner on top of Tom's roof deck as the sun set and the wine was poured. This picture with the purple flowers and the house that looks like it is in Paris is where I now want to live.  It is behind its own little fence and is absolutely beautiful and right in the middle of the UnionSquare area, I think.

Walker Art Museum Opens

Everyone is building a new museum or expanding an old one.  Museums clearly seem to be a trend in the United States (and the world) at this point.  Art also seems to be a safer bet then the stock market.  So Tom, my degree in Art History and Museum Studies might come in handy soon.  ;)

NYTIMES: For decades now, the Walker has been one of the liveliest museums in the country, an institution that maintained a strong independent voice despite its ties to the mainstream art world. When the museum hired the Swiss team of Jacques Herzog and Pierre de Meuron to design a $67 million expansion and renovation of its existing 1970's-era building, it seemed like a match made in heaven. The architects had built their reputations on museum projects like London's Tate Modern and the Goetz Collection in Munich, known for their meticulously refined materials and a sense of inner tranquillity.

The result is an exhilarating place to view art, one that packs in 11,000 square feet of additional gallery space, a 385-seat theater, a hip new restaurant and an expanded bookstore while upholding art's place as the center of the museum experience. Anchored by an aluminum-clad tower, the addition is a masterly example of how exhausted motifs can acquire new meaning when reworked in a fresh setting.

MareNostrum

CNN.com The MareNostrum was booted up yesterday in a chapel in Barcelona, Spain.  It is Europe's fastest supercomputer which means that it "boasts 40 teraflops of speed, which in layman's terms means it can make more calculations than a human pecking at a calculator could make in 10 million years." 

"Its memory is equal to the combined memories of nearly 20,000 personal computers, and its storage system has a capacity of 233 terabytes, the equivalent of the information that could be found in 29 million books."

So... imagine.. how much porn can be put on that computer and how fucking lightning fast it would play.  shit !  i would for sure have to rename it the malenostrum.  haha!

Netflix, 4-8 - 4-14

After the Sunset: This movie was entertaining however after I watched it I almost wished I didn't waste the time.  I like Pierce Brosnan .. I think he is hot however his role and acting in this movie was god-awful.  Some movie critics sum it up best:   

"Spends so much time down Selma Hayek's shirt fronts that we come away suffocated."
-- David N. Butterworth, MOVIE BOEUF

 

"After the Sunset tries to be two different films."
-- Kevin Carr, 7M PICTURES

 

"They got to make a movie on a beautiful island; the film itself might just be an afterthought. It feels like one, anyway."
-- Jeffrey Chen, REELTALK MOVIE REVIEWS

Little Black Book: This movie made me cry however as a romantic comedy it only made me laugh (or even smile) once.  Carlie Simon's music (which I am now aggressively downloading) was perfectly weaved through the plot heavy movie.  However the hope and inspiration found in her music was not found obviously in the film.  It also had Berger, the Sex and the City boyfriend who I hated then, and still hate now.  I am not sure nor want to spend the time looking for his name.    It had a good climax though; almost worth watching the movie for.  I also feel sorta relieved that relationships are work and they are about trusting someone, even if it is the main amount of work in the relationship.  You should feel that you want to tell your other half everything.  That is honesty.  And that is what works.  Yes, I am totally a little girl with "chick-flick" like movies.

high alcohol wines/rhode island senator

NYTimes:  Not so many years ago, back when Americans sought out compact cars and calculated their gas mileage, most California wines clocked in at an economical 12 to 13 percent alcohol. It was perhaps a shade higher than what their European colleagues achieved, but California was blessed with generous sunshine that made ripening grapes an easier proposition than in the cooler climates of Bordeaux and Burgundy.  Twenty-five years later, the 12 percent California wine seems as quaint as the gas-saving hatchback. Today, it's the rare bottle from California, red or white, that doesn't reach 14 percent alcohol. Many now hit 15, even 16 percent, a difference that may seem insignificant until you realize that a 15 percent bottle contains 25 percent more alcohol than one labeled 12 percent.  Casual consumers seem to pay little attention to the small print on the label that indicates the approximate alcohol content. And while these extreme wines do not hide their alcohol levels, few winemakers trumpet them, either.

And also from the NYTimes:  The Democrats who grilled John R. Bolton on Monday about his qualifications to be ambassador to the United Nations were at times irate, at times acerbic, at times combative. But Mr. Bolton's future may lie in his answers to the gentle questions from a soft-spoken Republican, Senator Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island.  Mr. Chafee is the lone Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to reserve judgment on Mr. Bolton; without his vote the nomination may not make it out of committee.  He has said he is inclined to support Mr. Bolton - a statement he reiterated Monday, adding that Democratic critics had not "made as strong a case as I might have expected." But he also said he was "still listening" and waiting for Tuesday's testimony before making up his mind.  Until then the senator from Rhode Island is the man in the middle.

I am all for higher proof wine and I am also for Rhode Islanders being in the middle.  Since I am a Rhode Islander yet rarely in the middle ;)

 

Less than Zero

This is an excerpt from the book I have just finished after being engrossed for a weeks worth of reading.  Less Than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis is disturbing yet its force pulls you in.  First, you will feel like you need to do drugs.  Second, you will also feel the need to have sex. Third, you will feel the need to live in California, especially the LA area.  Fourth, well.. read it and find out.  Ellis is the author of the book that became the movie called Rules of Attraction with Ian Sommerhalder if that will further attract anyone ;)  "Catcher in the Rye for the MTV Generation."  It however wasn't one of the best books I have read but a good quick read.

This is an excerpt from the book I have just finished after being engrossed for a weeks worth of reading. Something however turns me on about this scene to the point that I dog eared people.  yes, i dog ear when reading for fun.  Read it and tell me what you think ;)

the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take off my clothes and lie on her bed and she goes into the bathroom and I wait a couple of minutes and then she finally comes out, a towel wrapped around her, and sits on the bed and I put my hands on her shoulders, and she says stop it and, after I let go, she tells me to lean against the headboard and I do and then she reaches into the drawer by her bed and brings out a tube of Bain De Soleil and she hands it to me and then she reaches into the drawer and brings out a pair of Wayfarer sunglasses and she tells me to put them on and I do.  And she takes the tube of suntan lotion from me and squeezes some onto her fingers and then touches herself and motions for me to do the same, and I do.  After I while I stop and reach over to her and she stops me and says no, and then places my hand back on myself and her hand begins again and after this goes on for awhile I tell her that I'm going to come and she tells me to hold on a minute and that she's almost there and she begins to move her hand faster, spreading her legs wider, leaning back against the pillows, and I take the sunglasses off and she tells me to put them back on and I put them back on and it stings when I come and then I guess she comes too.  I lie there, naked, sunglasses still on, and she hands me a box of Kleenex.  I wipe myself off and then look through a Vogue that's lying by the side of the bed.  And then I call a cab and finally take the Wayfarers off and she tells me to be quiet walking down the stairs.

Iraq Protest

My mornings usually belong to dressing myself and reading the NYtimes and then I stare blankly at the world as I walk to work.  Sunday morning in the paper had an article about how Iraqi's want and are PROTESTING for us, the Americans, to leave.  Now if I understand all of the history classes I elected to take correctly then we accomplished our "job."  Bush changed his mind many times about why we are in Iraq but as I last "understand" it, we were there to create democracy.  Protesting to create their own democracy without an American bullying but just an American offering is needed. But back to the reason on why I even noticed this main article above the fold.  The hot Iraqi boy protesting.  I'm kidding.  I read the article because I was curious and I saw the boy because I thought it was a great photo.  haha!