How I Accidently Slept with an 18yo Gonna-Be Pornstar

I decided to hop on the bandwagon for dating teenagers last night for a whole 4 hours.  If thirty-something year olds can date twenty year olds, and fourty-something year olds can date twenty years olds, and fifty-something year olds can date twenty year olds... then why can't I date a teenager?  And by teenager I mean an eighteen year old, nothing illegal people, (or at least in this country)!  I figured trying some chicken even though I am a total meat eater can't be harmful to my emotional health especially when I view the 18yo as a total hookup with little potentional for anything else.  But besides that bit of judgemental bullshit, which is more just honesty than judging, I basically thought, why is everyone hooked on this young idea?  The answer is that their high energy, innocent, entirely lost meandering through life (or four hours) plays into our American youth obsessed mentality (bordering on pedophilia in certain cases) and your entirely lost meandering through life.  Combining the two together, I guess is just not for me.  I want more than lacking conversation, borderline boring sex, some innocent boy thinking he is gods gift, and "fun" with someone high energy and innocent.  Sharing a total connection with someone is much more fantastic than any of those previous points.

He picks me up, having driven down from his house he is sharing with 16,000 friends in northern Boston suburbia.  18yo as we will call him, is about 5'9, wearing a skater hoodie and ripped up AF jeans, brownbrown italian/irish/german, super lean smooth "soccer playing" twinkie.  Though when you start to figure out when this kid is playing soccer (since there is no college in his near future), you might get the idea that he is lieing through his teeth.  He also can barely grow facial hair and his little patch under his chin must have taken him a month or more to grow, lol.  He is more than willing to drive more than an hour to come get me in the city, and bring me back to the city all of which I would never even consider.  He drives at about 85, flashing people with high beams so bright they nearly slide off the road, so he can act like an all powerful American teenager blasting serious hip hop before turning it into some serious Cascada.  We pull up to his house, his friends house, his parents house, his dog's house; I honestly had no idea, nor cared much either.  Somehow there is a hot tub.  So, after an hour of sitting in the thing, both of us in gym shorts, we decide that the level of privacy is lacking.  Especially after I learn that he is about to head to his first solo porn shoot in Florida.  Where?  Well, as he said.. some place with a "Fort" in it.  Doing porn for an 18yo gay boy is pretty tempting especially when you feel like you have no money (or future).  I myself felt the urge, thankfully now, I never did.

We head back to his room, and next to the bed is a glowing pink neon sign of the words, "Evil."  Hard to think that this 18yo gay boy dancing to Cascada is evil, especially when the light glows pink.  I liked it though, especially since I was about to use this kid.  lol.  Somehow we start watching 24, I am nearly yawning at this point, thinking to myself that maybe I should have just jerked off at home.  There was some light making out in the hot tub when I realized with my right hand why he is heading into a solo porn shoot.  But back to his room, we start making out in the bed again, he kissed like a teen (which was cute), and as we got sweaty, the gym shorts came off and I found out that this kid was nicely hung and totally shaven smooth.  Both plus's I guess in the world of twink porn?!  I understood my role from the beginning, which is usually how it happens I guess, and totally made him service me.  haha!  I went from lieing back on the bed pillows, to sitting in a chair, to lieing down, to back sittig propped against the pillows forcing his head onto my dick.  The kid just went to town sucking like a boy so in need of dick.  There is something about the whole younger boy thing that brings out the harder rougher top in me, lol, and so it happened.  I toyed with his ass (which wasn't as smooth as the rest of his body hysterically enough), shoving one finger in, then two, but in trying three he winced and squirmed.  I thought to myself, oh christ, if I can't get three in, he is going to be a lot more work to fuck.  And as it turns out he was.  He, adorably, thought he was going to "play" top and I declined forcing him back onto the bed with his ass in the air as I went into it with  my tongue preparing him for what he knows he wants.  It took about ten more minutes of work just to get him begging, lol, and then another ten until I thought he was ready.  He was jacking his dick the entire time, leaking like a boy should.  Condom on, yes people.. condoms are still available at the pharmacy.  I know every 18-30yo thinks otherwise but seriously.. its fucked up, and even though fucking with a condom blows, it still is worth it.  So I basically shove it in (slowly) before going to town seriously pounding him, knowing full well that this kid was like me at 18, and he blows his load all over his chest, hitting his neck, after like 10 minutes.  At this point I debate to myself, staring at the evil sign, as he is still in the realm of orgasm, that if I pull out, this is over and I go home to jerk off (which I did anyway), or to stay inside and fuck him until I am ready to come.  I went for option two, I just picked up pace again as he begins to squirm and went to town pounding him, watching me fuck him, watching him love it.  I shot all over him and then got up and cleaned myself off.  I was done and I was ready to go home.  It was fun, yet the sex was so disconnected that I became bored.  Knowing that I was able to do whatever I wanted to this kid was hot somewhat but not what I want with sex.  Knowing that he was all excited about hooking up with a boy was adorable but I have so moved past that, lol.

The outcome of this whole little trip to the northern suburbs of Boston in an SUV so large that this 5'9" kid looked like a Lego person in it, was a total (but amusing) mental breakdown on the ride back home.  Few words were spoken because I was in my zoning state of awareness (asking yourself WTF you are doing at a moment like this is needed, and some should take this hint) because when he was blasting music that not only was made in my high school years but that I danced to in my college years, I nearly laughed and cried out loud.  Everything I thought to bring up as a topic to him was going to be unresponsive.  And trying to fit into his mindset of being 18 only made me go back to being 18 and 19 and 20 and 21 and that just made me even more weird.  Since those years were 5 years ago (!!!!) and if I wanted to talk about what I was thinking was hot when I was 20, it barely has relevance onto today.  What I did when I was 20 is either gone now or closed.  The wild innocence of entering your first gay bars and clubs is long gone.  And so is the music.  There is no more Thunderpuss.  No more Darude and "Lets Get Soaking Wet."  No more doing nothing all day with friends.  Just imagine for one, that this totally adorable soccer player boy is dancing and singing along happy as a gay boi in 1999 to NSync, Backstreet Boys, and some other gay as can be boyband tunes;  all of which I was nearly addicted to when I drove around the town I grew up in with nothing to do on a Friday night.  Then imagine, that this totally adorable soccer player of smooth innocence was born during the first Bush years.  Yes, first Bush.  If that isn't enough to choke on, lets keep going.  Having grown up over the last few years, with thanks to myself and many great people, the idea that this kid through a fucking Wendy's bag (oh yah, we stopped for Wendy's where he ordered more food then I have eaten in one of these places in like 3 months, not that I am jealous, I can see my abs now, lol) out the window of his massive black SUV on the highway, nearly made me want to crack his nose open with my elbow.  In a world that is fucked up, an 18yo with NO money whatsoever driving an SUV nearly as large as my apartment blasting boy bop and throwing trash out the window doesn't ring much for the future.  Nor does his entire inability to form a sentence that involves anything of interest in my current life. 

But the best came when we pulled back into the city that I have created a life in and as he is nearly dropping me off, pretty much worried that his SUV couldn't fit down some of the roads that the South End is made up of (they are narrow but he also had no confidence on how to drive, given that he got his license a year ago), asks me a question.  But first saying that he doesn't want to seem conceited.  I laughed and said go ahead, entirely knowing at this point that I was in total control and have been for the last 4 hours.  Which yes might make me seem conceited right now but it is just the truth.  He asked, I nearly laughed outloud, "So, did you think I was good?"  and I answered, "You were fun."  Knowing at this moment that this was the last time I would ever trick or even consider an 18yo again.

Comments

[Oliver McCarthy]

To me you're quite obviously a paedophile, but then so are all so-called "gays", and I suppose you mighy come back and say "It takes one to know one."

What I would say though is that you would probably be happier with yourself if you accepted this and then concentrated on moving on. Otherwise you're just going to get older and more unhappy without really realising what's going on, whilst at the same time you'll be helping to ruin the lives of more children and young men like this guy you've written about here.

All my best!

[larryfilou]

Funny, I mostly dated persons older than me, when 18 to 20...
Wonder now, if that was a good thing.
Cause it tends to propel you further in some points, than you should be at that age. I somehow managed to skip the years of 'carelessness'. I try to make up to that by trying to get there now, but with almost 30 it's not really that easy...
Nevertheless, I agree with Jorge: Not all youths are like that.

[Rick]

Haha!!!
It's fun to look at oneself from another's point of view. I'm 19 and even though I'm not as shallow as the "soccer twink" I always wondered why I never hooked up with someone older than myself. On the other side, when some 16yo (suposedly "quite experienced") kid tried to hook up with me, I inmediatly dissmised him.
Now I get the whole idea: never date outside of your own age group

[Justin]

The funny thing is, being 32, it's guys in their early 20s such as yourself that seem so young. And I'm sure there's someone in their 40s looking at me and thinking, 'He's so young....[cue up Circle of Life]

[Jorge]

i was thoroughly amused by your anecdote... and wondering whether to be mildly offended since I am not much older than that kid. Not all youths are as vacuous as that the pornstar to be!

[Mike]

I like the part of the trash going out the window. Those were the days!!!

[matt]

I would say this to you on IM, but you're not there. After reading your post I should not be interested in doing what you did with the 18yo porn star. But I can't help it. I am. I think I'm like you...I just need to try it and get it out of my system. I wish you'd posted a picture of him!!!

[Benji]

thank you for writing this. new found respect for you.