left brain: Rio. Do I Need To Say More?

We both woke up early to watch our ship pull into the harbor of Rio de Janeiro (Sunday morning) because we heard it was magical, and it was. We got a full view of the city from the water as we sailed by it on our way to the port. The main thing about Rio is that it is set in the most beautiful landscape possible. Rainforest lush mountains dive into the water as favelas clump against the hills and white skyscrapers fill the valleys. The city is a site to behold. It is truly spectacular and like no other city on earth. I easily can say that I doubt any cities landscape is as beautiful as Rio. Nor is another city full of such an intense amount of happy energy. I was jumping in excitement as we got off of the ship and onto a bus that was going to take us on our day of tourist traps. It was 9 hours of seeing everything touristy in Rio but absolutely worth it. We headed up to the top of Corcovado (where Christ stands) and Sugarloaf, saw the main Christian cathedral in town, saw a monkey and its baby, explored the different neighborhoods, and ate another Brasilian BBQ. The day ended at like 8pm and we quickly power napped since we were exhausted and pissy and ate dinner. That night however was when I thought I died and showed up in Heaven. A bunch of us (the people I went with) and the new friends that I made headed to a party called B.I.T.C.H which took place in an abandoned train station nearly the size of Penn Station but packed with 20,000 people (yes, 20K.. which I imagine is prob. the size of the gay scene in Boston) as abandoned train cars sat on tracks and luggage rooms were left open as lounges. Within a half hour I was on a box (for the first time in years) in Rio de Janeiro with 3 Brasilians that have already made out with me. About that. Brasilians are incredibly warm, happy, romantic, passionate and wild. If they think you are cute, they make out with you. The making out though goes on forever and then they turn to another boy and make out with him. Sometimes bringing him over. No joke. Needless to say I figured out how to join in on their culture which is very different than the whole American thing which is all about sex and leaving the club as soon as you score. Offer Nissim was the special DJ for the night and people went WILD when he started spinning. There is no question that this party was the most amazing and most fun that I have ever been to. It was like a 20K person orgy/rave/extravaganza. We stayed nearly to 6am (it went until 8) and met some fun boys (one who studied in Seattle and one poster child for twink who I am still unsure if he was 18). By the end of the night, my number of boys was much higher than the norm that I talk too (or kiss for that matter) but not as high as the rest of the club but I did get to my goal of ten, lol.

The following day (Monday) we headed to Ipanema beach, exhausted, to sit under an umbrella (it is wayyyy too hot to sit in the sun in Rio). The beach in Rio (or anywhere in Brasil) is an experience to be had. It is part market, part club, part beach, part backroom. First of all, it is so incredibly crowded that no one lies on a beach blanket. You sit in a beach chair which are packed in like sardines or you stand. There is really no other option. Everyone is in their standard squarecut bathing suit which is hot to begin with but hotter when people start groping themselves (which is sorta typical) to get hard, to get your attention, or to just do something with their hands. You show up at the beach with nothing other than yourself, your sandals, and as we did boardshorts. You can then purchase cheaply beer, soda, water, suntan lotion, towels, parais, food, necklaces, ~~lube~~, a massage, boys, clothing, bathing suits, etc etc. We stayed with the group of friends we now had from the cruise and with the Brasilian boys who magically showed up for awhile but after a few hours the sun just gets too intense. And going in the water always had the fear that you could be sucked into the undertow and needing to be plucked out of the water from a helicopter that was constantly scanning the waves. And the waves, and surfers, were amazing. Like New England waves in a hurricane but much cleaner, warmer, and more exciting. The beach, like Rio, is a spectacle. Everyone talks to everyone and the groping your crotch is only the beginning. I saw a 19yo boy grope himself hard and then take his dick out and jerk off for two other guys who were sitting nearby. It turns out that he was a hooker but whatever, haha. We headed to the real Carnavale party that night which takes place at the Sambadrome. Again, a spectacle like nothing I have (or anyone American) has ever seen. As Americans, you get overcharged and put into some special foreigner seating which turns out to be fine since it is near the bars and food and right near the action. By the end of the night you are covered in confetti of all sorts, foam, beer, and god knows what else. People throw a lot of things as everyone is partying out of control. The actual parade is awesome. It makes Macy's look like a joke. Thousands of people are in each samba school and it takes about an hour and twenty minutes for each school to go by you. Since it started at 11pm (when it gets cool in Rio), we only stayed for three schools but still left at 4am. Each school plays the same song for that hour and twenty minutes as floats, fireworks, dancers, acrobatics, the samba drummers, and singers go by you. It is what Cirque de Soleil wants to be but just isn't. It was an incredible party and the people of Brasil are obsessed with it. So obsessed that when I headed to a bathouse two days later they were glued to the TV wondering who won, since each school is judged. (My two bath house stories will be posted later, I am trying to get through what I remember about the actual cities and trip). It is like the spectacle of the Superbowl but without the stupid sport that we obnoxiously stole the name of.

The following day (Tuesday) was again spent at the beach. You already heard what I thought about it so moving on to the next Carnavale party we went to which took place on Fat Tuesday. It was the Pool Party. It looked and was exactly like the pics I recently posted of it. It is basically, like everything else in this country, hard to describe or compare it to anything. Two pools, a huge green court of somekind, woods, very circuity DJ, food, lounging around area make up the scene. We got to meet the guy who created Alegria in NYC. So you enter the shin dig and check your board shorts, flip flops, tank top, and whatever else you are carrying and you walk around in your squarecut and nothing else. It was HOT. It was HOT because you got to dance outside, next to a pool or in it, with amazingly beautiful boys in the middle of the day in your basically underwear drinking caiprinha's. It was a little seriously too hard circuity (yes, surprising that I just said that) for me in the middle of the afternoon but it was a great time. After the PoolParty fun we headed back to eat our last meal on the cruise ship and nap for that nights party. Our last meal was one of my favorites since it was shared with Tom and two of our new friends Frank (hysterically enough) and Marty. It seems nearly magical now as I look back upon it. It was at this point that I feel like I got one very great friend out of this trip which is more than I ever imagined I was going to walk away from this trip with. At this point, sleep seemed like just an idea since no one sleeps in Rio. It almost seems like they leave the clubs, bars, parties, street parties, to head to the beach. So since we were trying to become a carioca, we cabbed to the party for the night, XDemente, which took place on one of the lakes in Rio, and was the second best night out I have had in my life, lol. Three tents were set up on the shore of the lake with three different types of dance music all of which were great. Our Brasilian boys were waiting for us but all of us seemed dead set on spending time with each other, or haha, alone. I lost Tom for more than an hour because our "if you get lost meeting point" was not obvious enough after I met my real crush from Brasilia. Yes, it is true...you easily fall in love with Brasilians. To mention, they packed the place with Brasilian models who dressed up as sailors, minus the clothing, lol. One of the boys was the hottest boy I have ever seen in my life, in real life. Anyway, we danced and danced but quickly grew exhausted from the entire thing (this was now our third str8 night of doing this) so we headed back to the boat for the last time. I sit here with the theme song for the entire trip, Love Generation by Bob Sinclair, playing.

Wednesday was another day spent at the beach, early and long. Again, few stories other than I went into the water for the first time because the waves seemed less deadly. It was an incredible amount of fun. I showered at the bathhouse which was right down the steps from one of the bigger and scarier favellas after the beach since we after dinner at the Copacabana Palace got on a flight back to the unhappy ice box I live in. I had a Pina Colada in the CopacabanaP, supposedly this was a big thing, and they were certainly fantastic but I think I missed the bigger idea. Dinner at the CP was delicious and a lot of fun since BrianP and Chris from Boston were hanging out with us (they just came for Rio) and we were using their room as a luggage storage facility since we were kicked out of our ship at 10am. Anyways, I had a great beef stew with the typical fried banana and white rice (popular meal for Brasil) and cod fish cakes dipped in some white sauce I am still not sure what it was. The hotel was beautiful and we got to take it all in as we ate candlelit by the pool. A quick stroll around the hotel and it was over. The most amazing time I have had in one city for such a short time came to an end as the only thing left was the trip to the third world airport.