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  • At the Cinema:
    Constant Gardener * Junebug * Green Street Hooligans * Capote * Hellbent * Jarhead * Harry Potter and the Goblet * The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe * Brokeback Mountain * Munich * Syriana * The New World * Spirit of the Beehive * Failure to Launch * Tsotsi * V for Vendetta * Thank You For Smoking * United 93 * The DaVinci Code * XMen III * Russian Dolls * Favela Rising * Nacho Libre * Superman * Devil Wears Prada ** Time to Leave * Little Miss Sunshine * Miami Vice * Quinceanera * Half Nelson * Another Gay Movie * Poster Boy * Le Petit Lieutenant * Man Push Cart * Science of Sleep * A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints * The Queen * Paprika * The Departed * Shortbus * Marie Antoinette * Pan Labyrinth * Babel * The Prestige * Death of a President * Borat * Fast Food Nation * Candy * Volver * Casino Royale * Deja Vu * Stranger than Fiction * Days of Glory * Apocalypto * Curse of the Golden Flower * Children of Men * Miss Potter * Tears of the Black Tiger * Notes on a Scandal * Reno 911 * Zodiac * Last King of Scotland * 300
  • From Netflix:
    Oldboy * Alias * ChungKing Express * Requiem for a Dream * OC Season 2 * Coach Carter * Crash * Sex and Lucia * Lemony Snicket * It's All Gone Pete Tong * Love Actually * Fever Pitch * Interview with a Vampire * The Real Cancun *Lords of Dogtown * Fantastic Four * Criminal * Willy Wonka * Fridaa * Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance * About a Boy * Rebel without a Cause * The Edukators * 3 Dancing Slaves * Dot the I * Royal Tennenbaums * 2046 * March of the Penguins * Into the Blue * Oliver Twist * Beautiful Thing * Memoirs for a Geisha * The War Within * Spun * Young Gods * A Lot Like Love * Inked * Family Stone * Kontroll * Delicatessen * Footballer's Wives * Transamerica * Jesus is Magic * Firewall * King Kong * Hostel * Layer Cake * She's the Man * 5 x 2 * Lost, Season 1, 2 * Brick * Little Manhattan * The Comeback * Veronica Mars * Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World * Before the Fall * Summer Camp * Entourage, Season 1 * Everything is Illuminated * Madame Sata * Weeds * Sympathy for Mrs. Vengeance * Art School Confidential * City of Men, Season 1, 2 * L'Enfant * Stick It * Dorian Blues * Goal * Manhattan * Lower City * Strangers with Candy * Guys and Balls * Tristan & Isolde * Irreversible * CRAZY * I Stand Alone * Three Extremes * Red Dragon * Hard Candy * Running with Scissors * Boixe Maoi * Napolean Dynamite * The Covenant * FlyBoys * Ma Mere * Naked * Sin City * Hukkle *

What I Think Is Hot

  • Joe Gauthreaux


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I guess the problem in the gay world is that in the end we always feel rejected again, and then give up. I saw it happening time after time, relationship after relationship. I watched the other, and myself and somehow I started to go under in a nagging feeling that I was the rejected one, whereas I could easily see that I wasn't that nice either. I don't like it, I fight it, therapy taught me a lot, but somehow it pops up again and again. I just kinda believe that a nice cool boy cannot really like me for ever. High school all over again. Well, the alternatives are known: boyfriend hopping, or worse (though it can be fun for a while,and well, I am good at it). In the end, I just have to keep fighting this childish feeling however, or resign, and live my life anyway, albeit less perfect than it should be. There are enough great days when it all feels worthwhile.


Do you really believe that...

..."human relationships don't work"? Now, I may be playing the proverbial "devils advocate" here or I may be begging the question because your post struck something somewhat deep within me that I feel that we're kindred spirits on: the volatile nature of human interaction.

Voltaire queried, " We live in the best of all, best of all possible worlds and what more could possibly be better?" I said that to someone a couple of weeks ago and got in a knock down, drag out, heated conversation about what it meant. Most people tend to be flummoxed by that line of thinking because they relate it to the world in generalized terms. Moreover, for the shallow majority, unwilling to search for further meaning in anything which isn't cloaked in the empirical truth of cleaver marketing or "The Year in Pictures", I can see where this would prove itself daunting logic, scary even. For there isn't much in our world today which could substantiate the claim that it is the " of all, best of all possible.." and if there is an antidote for the poison both Bush dynasties have and will continue to inflict upon us, I know they've yet to find it.

So, yes, if we pick and poke at the surface of the topics at hand, I would agree with you that "human relationships don't work" and that the world we live in is far from the "best of all possible". But, being a writer, and therefore an idiot. I'm never satisfied with just letting the surface be, I've got to pick at the scab until I'm certain there's sufficient blood flow to make me realize just how alive I am and just what, if anything, lies beneath the surface.

I was at once, amazed, shocked even, by your position on relationships. Now, I make not the bold assumption to even pretend that I know you well enough to provide comment on your past. As I see it, your past is none of my business unless you so choose to share it with me. Being somewhat of a new "relationship" in your life, it does however give me pause to think about what you've said and am left with a whole list of questions: Who hurt him? , What is his damage? Where did he pick up this baggage? When did this happen? How could he let this happen to himself? Why is he afraid to try again? Now, luckily for you, I, as stated before, am not bothered with your past and seek not their answers. Those answers are yours, singularly yours and no one but yourself is deserving of them.

Now, here's where it gets tricky: If you truly believe that they don't work am I, or anyone interested in you, in any capacity, not to be shown the courtesy of the answers to questions such as these: Who is he to pass judgement on peoples ability to maintain a relationship? What is it going to take to get him to see beyond the past and into a future peopled with love, care, respect and support? Where is his heart? When will he realize that that he may be right about relationships but find the courage to prove himself wrong? How can someone so passionate stop trying? Why bother with him?

You've got this light about you, color really. It burns white hot with searing passion behind those dark eyes of yours. From what I know or understand, I find your comment contradictory of yourself and am going to call you on it. Yes, we're probably going to have to agree to disagree here, but I don't buy for one moment that you truly believe that human relationships don't work. We had this conversation on Saturday night and I'm sticking to my story that: yes, maybe they don't work but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. Furthermore, relationships would have a lot easier time growing into their own without so many presets in terms of how many, how much and how often. When did it stop being okay just being two people who care about one another and seeing where life takes them? And, yes, I do believe that they should come marked with an expiration date. It would just make things less messy.

Frank, I know not by what happenstance our lives have come together. Of what I do know is this: it feels right, and I truly believe that if we allow ourselves the time to know each other completely, we may learn a great deal about ourselves, love, life and how to live it to the fullest.


Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

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