left brain: Holding Patterns, by Frank Bruni

Which Restaurants I Love

NYC
* Per Se * Pastis * Schillers Liquor Bar * Casa Mono * Babbo * Del Posto * WD50 * Tabla * Morimoto * Buddhakan * Gotham Grill * Vynl * The Spotted Pig * Bouchon Bakery * Tia Pol * Artisinal * Cubano Cafe * db Bistro Modern * Saul * Quality Meats * Jewel Bako * Bar Americaine * Isabella's * Bamboo 52 * Bouley Bakery * Public * Bouley * Boquiera * Blue Ribbon Sushi *

What I've Watched

At the Cinema:
Constant Gardener * Junebug * Green Street Hooligans * Capote * Hellbent * Jarhead * Harry Potter and the Goblet * The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe * Brokeback Mountain * Munich * Syriana * The New World * Spirit of the Beehive * Failure to Launch * Tsotsi * V for Vendetta * Thank You For Smoking * United 93 * The DaVinci Code * XMen III * Russian Dolls * Favela Rising * Nacho Libre * Superman * Devil Wears Prada ** Time to Leave * Little Miss Sunshine * Miami Vice * Quinceanera * Half Nelson * Another Gay Movie * Poster Boy * Le Petit Lieutenant * Man Push Cart * Science of Sleep * A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints * The Queen * Paprika * The Departed * Shortbus * Marie Antoinette * Pan Labyrinth * Babel * The Prestige * Death of a President * Borat * Fast Food Nation * Candy * Volver * Casino Royale * Deja Vu * Stranger than Fiction * Days of Glory * Apocalypto * Curse of the Golden Flower * Children of Men * Miss Potter * Tears of the Black Tiger * Notes on a Scandal * Reno 911 * Zodiac * Last King of Scotland * 300
From Netflix:
Oldboy * Alias * ChungKing Express * Requiem for a Dream * OC Season 2 * Coach Carter * Crash * Sex and Lucia * Lemony Snicket * It's All Gone Pete Tong * Love Actually * Fever Pitch * Interview with a Vampire * The Real Cancun *Lords of Dogtown * Fantastic Four * Criminal * Willy Wonka * Fridaa * Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance * About a Boy * Rebel without a Cause * The Edukators * 3 Dancing Slaves * Dot the I * Royal Tennenbaums * 2046 * March of the Penguins * Into the Blue * Oliver Twist * Beautiful Thing * Memoirs for a Geisha * The War Within * Spun * Young Gods * A Lot Like Love * Inked * Family Stone * Kontroll * Delicatessen * Footballer's Wives * Transamerica * Jesus is Magic * Firewall * King Kong * Hostel * Layer Cake * She's the Man * 5 x 2 * Lost, Season 1, 2 * Brick * Little Manhattan * The Comeback * Veronica Mars * Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World * Before the Fall * Summer Camp * Entourage, Season 1 * Everything is Illuminated * Madame Sata * Weeds * Sympathy for Mrs. Vengeance * Art School Confidential * City of Men, Season 1, 2 * L'Enfant * Stick It * Dorian Blues * Goal * Manhattan * Lower City * Strangers with Candy * Guys and Balls * Tristan & Isolde * Irreversible * CRAZY * I Stand Alone * Three Extremes * Red Dragon * Hard Candy * Running with Scissors * Boixe Maoi * Napolean Dynamite * The Covenant * FlyBoys * Ma Mere * Naked * Sin City * Hukkle *

Diner’s Journal - Holding Patterns by Frank Bruni - Dining - New York Times Blog.

It’s 10:09. Laptop in front of me. Watching the clock digits on it turn, each turn like a ratcheting-down of my chances. 10:15 could be too late, according to the woman from yesterday.
How many other fools out there have literally structured their mornings around the schedule of this reservation line and are willing to move heaven and earth to be free two months into the future and have the patience and humility (or is it masochism?) to keep hitting redial?

10:14 — I get a recording! But I’m not there yet. Now, having circumvented the busy signal and landed a recording, I must take another step: I must hit “1” for reservations, which funnels me into another recording, the one from yesterday.

“Please continue to hold … we will assist you in just a moment … your patience is greatly appreciated … there are other callers ahead of you … thank you for your patience … we will be with you as quickly as possible.”

It’s now 10:16!!! I’m watching the laptop clock digits turn. The woman from yesterday said 15-20 minutes!!! I’m almost cooked. In four minutes it’s over!

10:18 — the phone is answered. I ask if they have anything available for two months ahead. She says yes, they do! But then she says, almost unbelievably, “Can you hold for just a minute?” And puts me on hold.
This time it’s music I’m hearing. But the seconds are ticking away. The available tables are undoubtedly filling up and getting claimed as she keeps me waiting and does … what? Searches for a new pen? Powders her nose? Stares at the phone with a malevolent glee, cackling at the torture to which I’m submitting myself?

Forty-five seconds later, she’s back on the line.

For a party of four, they have 5:30 P.M., 9 P.M., and then two later times that I don’t listen to, because we’re getting less desirable, not more. I say I’ll take 9 P.M.

March 2008

Comments

Dude - That is genius. A little piece of art conjured from the mundane. I will remember it the next time I'm on the Amtrak reservations line... Is that as sad as it sounds?... - A.

Posted by: Alan | September 20, 2006 at 11:10 PM